WITHOUT A BANG
EILEEN
Well I don’t know, it’s getting me down a bit now this. I mean it’s been three months. I never thought we’d last out. I mean I was never very physical, you know, didn’t even like Postman’s knock when I was a kid or going on the hobby-horse in the playground, but I think I’m starting to feel a bit frustrated now. You know this morning I was reaching for something on the top shelf in the kitchen and I was leaning up against the washing machine it started going spin dry and all the vibrations went through me and it got me – Well I don’t know how to say really, I mean, I thought, ooh that’s nice and I just sort of stayed there and kept it on fast hot wash and spin. Well, then there was a knock at the door and I knew it was the Co-op dairy for his money, and well me legs were all shakin’ and that and you know I told you about him, him with the red ‘air and the moustache, the really ‘andsome one that looks like Jess Conrad, you know the one that keeps smiling at me – he’s just got divorced you know by the way. Well, I went to the door and I felt like I was in a dream, I was all twitchy and, well, hot and shaky and I opened the door and, ooh I feel stupid. Well, it was the other one, his little bandy mate with the squint and no teeth, so I just burst out crying and said “No yoghurt on Saturday” and ran back in.