Recent News

Coming to your screen soon..... Two young Berzerkers from our Friday class will be filming "Downtown Abbey" this week. Break a leg girls. Well done to one of our students for his Bulgarian McDonald's advert.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0IpQH4dchk  Another busy Berzerker, Matt Whitelock, owner at Berzerk will be appearing in "Not Going Out" - look out for Matt soon.   "A Berzerk little house of horrors 2" going deeper underground... We have booked another spooky session of devilish delights for October...watch this space.  T-ShirtsClick here for the T-Shirt order form LAMDA Our next set of exams will be in March 2012 Mock Exams this weekend 11th March. All timetables have gone out. Show those examiners what you have got guys!Short FilmsBerzerk have provided their "silent short film project" in over 8 schools this year. Potion X, Theseus and the Minotaur, Robin Hood and Jekyll and Hyde. Thanks for those schools that have booked us for the second or third year running! 

Our Bad Magnet

OUR BAD MAGNET
By Douglas Maxwell

ALAN
Did I tell yous that Tina’s pregnant?

Came as a bit of a shocker I can tell you. I’d been away at a battle re-enactment thing. I’d been helping out some of the English Civil war mob down in the black country somewhere. Their organisation was an absolute disgrace. Really it was a fiasco. Most folk don’t even know what side they were on and the kit was just bits of cardboard and Halloween costumes. Anyway, I was meant to be  away all weekend but I just headed home Saturday night. I got home to find Tina lying on the bed, greeting her face off. Just crying and crying and crying. She wouldn’t say what the hell was wrong. My heart was beating man, I tell you, I thought she’d got cancer or something. She eventually told me she was up the duff. Well I said that’s good news! We can afford it, we’ve got room, good job, we’re happy and everything. She ... she said she didn’t want my baby. She loves me and everything, she just doesn’t want my baby. (Pause) Dr McCulloch says it happens all the time. Chemicals released into the body and everything. It’s difficult. I’ve to give her room. So I’m in the hut most nights building stuff and thinking about things. She’ll come around. Hope.

The Lieutenant of Inishmore

THE LIEUTENANT OF INISHMORE
By Martin McDonagh

PADRAIC
James Hanley, don’t keep going on about your stupid fecking toenails! The way you talk it sounds as if I took off a rake of them, when it was only two I took off, and them only small ones. If they’d been big ones I could understand, but they weren’t. They were small. You’d hardly notice them gone.

If I hadn’t been such a nice fella I would’ve taken one toenail off of separate feet, but I didn’t, I took two toenails off the one foot, so that’s the only foot you’ll have to be limping on and not the two. If it hadn’t been the two you’d’ve found it a devil to be getting about. But with the pain concentrated on the one, if you can get hold of a crutch or a decent stick, I’m not sure if the General Hospital does hand them out but they might do, I don’t know. You could phone them up and ask, or go in and see them would be the best thing, and make sure them toes won’t be going septic at the same time. I didn’t disinfect the razor at all, I never do, I see no need, but they’d be the best people to ask, sure they’re the experts. You’ll probably need a tetanus jab too, oh there’s no question. I do hate injections, I do. I think I’d rather be slashed with a razor than have an injection. I don’t know why. Of course, I’d rather have neither. You’ll have both by the end of the day. What a bad day you’ve had. But, erm ... I have lost me train of thought now, so I have.

Worlds End

WORLDS END
By Paul Sellar

BEN
So this is it, then. Our last dance.
Silence.
You didn’t really expect me to leave the key in a plant pot, did you?
Silence.
Not a day has gone by when I’ve not thought about you.
I’m feeling fragile now. So...handle with care.
You’re really going then, are you?
I’ve been going mad in here. You sneaked off without a word. You just left...I woke up and you were gone. Nobody said anything. Your parents wouldn’t let on. Your friends clammed up. I couldn’t stop wondering where the fuck you were. Know what kept me going? Knowing you’d have to come back for your stuff. That kept me going. Took me ages to find the note. It must have slid under the fridge. But even when I dug it out I was none the wiser. You may as well have written it in Japanese. “You’ll always be with me, somehow.” The fuck does that mean? What does that actually mean?
I know I was difficult but there were good times too. And I miss them. And you. I was so content with you. And so proud and...all the...I miss the little things. Those little walks, feeling your hand grab mine whenever you wanted to cross the road. You choking on that falafel. There were so many things...so many little things which-we were happy. We were...and we just let it slip through our...Where did it go?
I was a mess. I’d gone to pot. This place was a pigsty. But I got up this morning with a spring in my step. Found some bin liners. Cleared the whole place up. All because you were coming round.
All I’m saying really is that...I love you, Kat. I love you with every last drop of love in me. Don’t go.Stay. I want to make you happy. And I’m taking steps, you know. I am taking steps...and that’s why I was looking forward to seeing you again. To show you how much I was going to change. And to tell you how much I’m going to improve everything for us by taking steps; because I love you. And I know that now. And now that I know that, we’ll change things. All I’ve got to do is...grow up. That’s all. And I can do that. I’ve done it. Today. Well, not earlier...but now. In this moment. I’ve grown up. All I want now is for us to...get on with it all.
Beat.
And with you...the most beautiful...clever...magical girl that I’ve ever met...together with the right attitude...we could do anything...we could go anywhere...and we could make it all happen...anything at all...and it would be wonderful.
If you happen to see the kat who you used to be...the one who came with me to France, and sat next to me on the night train, hand in hand, or the Kat who jumped in the fountain in the square...if you see that Kat do you think...if you happen to come across her, do you think you could let her know that I’m sorry, and that I’ve turned over a new leaf, and that I’m sorry for hurting her, and for letting her down. So sorry. Will you tell her?